Does Marriage have to be such a big deal?

She is educated, loaded, beautiful and in her thirties but is single and you are thinking God what the hell is wrong with her? So, who says to be a complete human being one has to be married, huh? And is marriage such a big deal anyway? But this single lady is watching movies like ‘why did I get married’, and is thinking to her single self, maybe marriage isn’t worth the hype after all.

                                     

Blame this stereotyping on society because unless you are planning on becoming a Catholic priest or nun, you are expected to get married at least some day. And that day has to come when you are in a certain age bracket after which you will be looked at as an alien if you are unmarried.  By the way nobody cares if you marry for a few years and divorce – it is better than never trying at all – they say. While appearing on Piers Morgan’s show in 2011, world renowned show host Oprah Winfrey said: “I am not getting married.” “I am not the marrying kind.” She talked about how she was still a happily single woman despite dating her partner Graham Steadman for 26 years, huh. But most people will most definitely say if a woman has reached the marrying age and is saying she wants to stay single, then most probably she is undesirable. Some say no woman chooses to be single, they just find themselves in that situation and they devise means of living by it. And I say shame; some ladies have chosen to stay single even with a million suitors at their feet.

While at university most girls are always under pressure to get hooked to a partner who will most probably become their husband – or so they assume. This pressure sometimes results into panic if the partner doesn’t show up since life after campus without a man is considered doom. After university, it is presumed; they will get a job and money, add a few kilograms of weight to their figure and eventually look old and unattractive. That explains why most girls marry immediately after university.

And because of this there has been a breed of unhappy married women who want to have the best of both worlds – single and free and be married too! So do you wonder why the separation levels are getting higher by the year? But for others the right time is after they have ventured into the single life fully and at least earned a salary and enjoyed it on their own without cares of children and family. Some even want to earn a master’s degree since studying with family responsibilities is a challenge on its own.

It is those that receive strong resistance from society including their parents about getting married. But I say, marry when you want because being single is fun. Well, at least you don’t have to give up your freedom in bed to someone else. You can roll from end to end freely and how relieving that is after a hectic day. And do need I say that you only worry about your own hunger not for another grown up, yeah! And those crazy night outs, you can party till you drop knowing you don’t have to go to court the following day!

Perhaps what most people forget is that marriage doesn’t guarantee happiness. Maybe that is why they think when single one cannot be truly happy. Unlike being single, your marriage partner is supposed to stick with you for a lifetime. It’s a commitment which you shouldn’t undertake when you don’t feel the need. Of course there are some lows to singlehood just like any other life choices. Many at times when faced with a challenge like climbing those tables to hang a bulb, the single girl will wish there was a man to do that for her. It is obvious that certain things were designed for men and security in a home is one of them. On those lonely nights when thieves come close to breaking into your house, you will wish there was a male voice behind those walls, it would scare them away. And of course you need the man to kill the cockroaches and rats or a snake if ever it entered the house.

When is the right time?

When all is said and done, is there anything like the right time for marriage? Well, I say there is no specific right time designated for marriage.

The right time is when someone is psychologically ready for that life. Marriage is a personal choice which one should make when they feel ready physically and emotionally. You can grow in age but when you still have be out till late in the night without being questioned, then hell no you are not ready for marriage. So instead of making some people miserable – husband and children – stay single. Marriage is for a lifetime. It is not like a business which you can start today and tomorrow when you lose interest or it’s not profitable like you thought; you close shop and move on to another. Forget about the stereotyping about biological clock ticking and wait until you feel ready. Marriage is not only about children!

Next time you are being questioned about why you are single, tell them it’s your life and you choose to do whatever you feel like with it. Tell them about the other achievements you have which you are sure you wouldn’t have if you were married. That is you have chosen to be single and are enjoying it. All in all marriage becomes a big deal when one deems so.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with people who choose celibacy and should therefore not be looked at as aliens and immoral girls out to devour people’s husbands. Leave them to dance to Beyonce’s ‘Single ladies’ in peace!